I was imprisoned, and you crept off quietly to your chapel and prayed for my release.

I was naked, and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.

I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.

I was homeless, and you preached to me of the spiritual shelter of the love of God.

I was lonely, and you left me alone to pray for me.

You seem so holy, so close to God

But I am still very hungry – and lonely – and cold”.

It is up to you to take charge of your life.  One way of doing this is to not spend your time on things that you can not control or change but to concentrate on those things that you can change and control and lead your life.  Another way is don’t just make a difference but, be the difference.

Self Leadership is also responsiblity.  Taking ownership of your faults and mistakes.  Being mature  and responsible for your decisions, actions, and thoughts.

The hardest victory in life is over self.

Philippians 2:3-4  says: let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests , but also for the interest of others.

Leaders look out for those that they lead and have there best interest at hand.

 Author, John Maxwell describes leadership as positive influence, and it very well should be but, life through experience and reality has taught me that influence can be positive and negative.

You have to be careful what type of leadership you decide to follow.

Many people think that leadership is about something large.  They associate leadership with Power, Control, Fear, Prestige, and Privilege.

Author, Mark Sanborn defines true leadership as an invitation to greatness that we extend to others.  In others words it is helping someone through positive  influence become all that they can be.

Leaders also lead by increasing or improving relationships and  outcomes.

How to notice a good Leader

A) They can positively shape their lives

B) Does not lead by controling  people

C) People follow them out of respect and not fear

D) Has no authority to reward or penalize people but, can still get people to follow them

Matthew 15:14 says  Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind.  And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

In other words if someone is leading themselves to and where they will lead you to the same place.

Remember: We are commanded to love our wives regardless of whether or not they deserve it.

Substituting for your Wife

The meaning of Sub: Secondary

As husbands we should place our feelings secondary to our wives. Understand I am not saying to disregard your feelings but, there are times when we need to place our feelings secondary out of love for our wives.

This means that there will be occasions where you are justified in being right. Sometimes we need to think about the emotional fallout that comes from justification{bragging}. In other words win the momentary battle and lose  the marital war.

After what Jesus did for us on the cross what could our wives possibly do for us not to substitute our feelings for our them.

There is a need for husbands to love their wives even when they least deserve it just as Jesus loves us.

In the book “A man’s Role in the Home” by author/Pastor Tony Evans he states that” women are responders. They are wired to respond positively to love, attention and caring” {Hint}

Romans 5:8 says:” But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners. Christ died for us”.  This is how Jesus substituted himself  for us.

Next weeks topic: Leadership

To suffer for our wives is to demonstrate a Christ like love. This kind of suffering hurts sometimes because, sometimes our wives don’t respond the way we would like them to.

Regardless of the way our wives respond, whether we think she deserves it or even if she appreciates it keep on loving her and remember that God see’s your demonstration of his love and he will honor that. You may have to suffer during this process just as Jesus suffered for his bride. {the church}

In Romans 5:8 the scripture says that Christ died for us while we were still sinners but, before he died he showed us His love by suffering for us. It was Jesus love for us {his bride} that allowed him to suffer so greatly.

Join me next week when we will be talking about Becoming a Substitute for your Wife.

What did Jesus do to demonstrate His love for the Chruch.  He Sacrificed, He Suffered, He Substituted.

Sacrifice involves what is best for your Wife, not necessarily what is best for You.  Alot of marriages suffer or don’t last because there is no sacrifice from either spouse.

Ephesians 5: 25 says that Jesus gave Himself for the Church.

As Husbands sometimes we have to sacrifice our Desires, Preferences, Plans, Agendas, Time and Money.

Remember: Sacrifice involves what is best for your Wife, not necessarily what is best for you, the Husband.

Visit me next week, as I will be talking about suffering for our Wives using Jesus’ example.